Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Been awhile...

Ok so its been awhile since I posted a new blog.
Everytime I try 2 post 1 using my phone it never works because i try to erase 1 letter and end up backspacing my whole post and after doing that 3 times i get fustrated and give up. i could go 2 the library n use the computer like my mom does but after a long day @ work i never feel up to it.

Dont even really know what 2 say 2day...Jay is still messing up my life 1 day @ a surprise there and i finally realized hes not going 2 help me pay any of the bills hes supposed 2 help with which leaves me 2 pay sooooo screwed!!!

I just want the day 2 come where i dont have 2 worry about paying any past bills just the current ones...that would b soo wonderful!
And i also would like a new boyfriend but i think itd be a smart move if i figured out my financial responsibilities 1st then worried about that...of course i always say that n i never stick 2 it but i think im serious about it this time. who knows though. The only guy im talkin 2 is just my friend a wonderful 1 @ that...he gives the best advice ever (even if its sometimes the same advice my mom gives me lol) and he knows how 2 cheer me up when im feeling down...always puts a smile on my face :):)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dead Flowers

"He ain't feelin anything, my love my hurt all with stand this pain, I'm living in a hurricane and all he can say is man ain't such a nice day?"

So I once had this boyfriend named Jay...he was wonderful (key word was) and we were perfect together and inseperable. That lasted a whole 6 months..guess that was the honeymoon stage of our relationship. We started fighting constantly after that..well i guess not constantly but it sure as hell felt like it! He said i was being to motherly towards him. Im sorry i didn't know that wanting the best for the guy that im in a relationship with and being a worry wort was being motherly to him??? I didn't know telling him that we didn't have money for him to gamble away cuz we had major bills 2 pay was being like a mother to him or even texting him while he was out with friends when i haven't heard from him all night was being like a mother. my bad guess my next relationship ill try to be more carefree..haha yeah right me be carefree in a relationship..i must be nuts! My mom calls him the gift that just keeps on giving...because ever since we broke up he has made my life a living hell. (i'm the type of person who goes for the "bad boys" the ones with criminal records or no drivers license etc. the ones that need lots of help that i think i can provide and then i try to do so..which never works out so well. so basically i spend all my time in my relationship trying to make sure they stay out of trouble whether its legal or not and then we break up and he has no problem putting me where i've tried so hard to keep everyone out of). it really breaks my heart still to this day that he can do that to me and then seem like he has no care in the world!! Let me share my line of gifts he has given me in the last 2 months since we have been apart...Gift 1: he kicked me outta the apt that we shared..yes my name was on the lease as a holder and yes i called and tried to get my name off the lease but they said since it was such a new lease and we were both lease holders that if one of us defaulted we were both responsible. Gift 2: he moved out of that apt we shared and DID NOT break the lease. Gift 3: I recieved a letter in the mail from the bad check program saying i owed like $500 for a bad electronic check that i let jay do over the phone for comcast and then since we didn't have the money i expected him to be the one to cancel. what an idiot i was!! So with writing this bad check they were going to put me in jail for 93 days to 2 years and smack me with a huge fine! so yes of course i had 2 pay all of that $500 all by myself!! he couldn't help me cuz he was 2 busy payin for the new apt he so kindly moved in to! ok Gift 4 was actually supposed to come b4 Gift 3 but i don't feel like erasing and rewriting so whatever Gift 4: me getting fired from my job i had for 3 years and the place where i met my oh so awesome ex bf at...a friend of mine decided she was goin to start texting my ex bf while we were still dating and of course working at a resturant u work with a bunch of ppl who act like they are still n high school who like to spread rumors and talk shit about ppl cuz they have nothing else better to do...decided to start spreading rumors that jay broke up with me for my friend and that they were sleeping together while we were dating and all this stuff. so all those ppl i had worked with forever who all claimed to be my friends couldn't come to my face and tell me what was going on before i had to hear about it from my friend (the one the rumors were about) and me being me blew up on her...i said somethings i shouldn't have and now that i look back on the situation and now that i've had sometime to think about things..she wasn't the one i should have blown up on and she didn't deserve me going all postal on. i have apologized to her and we are good now! but actually typing this out makes me realize even more that she wasn't the one who deserved me going all crazy on. anyways Gift 5: me checking the mail at the apt we shared and us recieving a summons to appear in court to be evicted from the apt we no longer live in!! I talked to my mom and she told me to go 2 the apt complex and return my keys and explain the situation to nervous as all hell i went the next day after work, returned my keys and told them we broke up and he kicked me out. they were sympathetic and acted like they had no idea what happened..which is a lie cuz jay has told them time and time again that he broke up with me and kicked me out so whatever was going to happen with him owing them money and such had nothing to do with me. so as of right now who knows whats going on with that situation. i know he called the complex today and they said he needs to return his set of keys and that was it. He told me they didn't say anything about me or the court or anything so who knows. all i know is he is not making me pay for this all on my own.. this is his fault to the fullest and i didn't kick my own ass out!! I believe those are all the gifts he has given me so far but im sure there are plenty more to come...can't wait!!...NOT!!! He really did a number on me and turned my whole life upside down. I have never learned soooo many lessons from one relationship that i have with this one! and hopefully whenever i do get into a relationship again i will only be that much smarter and be able to keep myself out of these situations. I know that everything happens for a reason and that im goin to be stronger and a better person after all this is said and done. i just wish i could speed up this all is said and done process.
So ladies a word of advise...please do not put just ur name on the bills like the utilities...make sure both names are on if u r even considering putting ur name on im sure that will save some trouble if things go sour in a relationship and if u are a lease holder for an apt or lease...please make sure u r able to stay thru out the whole lease or if u aren't that u can afford to break the lease will save u from recieving a pretty little package in the mail summoning u to court to be evicted...even if u dont live there anymore!!!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

My first blog!

I`ve never had a blog before so I decided to see what all the excitement is about! I have only blogged before on my myspace so we`ll have to see how this goes. My mom actually has a blog of her own and has quiet a few followers. It`s funny to me for some reason that she has her own blog...but i guess it`s better than her having a myspace or facebook!
Anyways, I`m 22 years old and we all know how girls in their twenties using proper grammer and puntcuation and spelling words out all the way is hard for me to do. So sorry if all of a sudden the full spelling of words drop n i start abbrev words cuz thats what im used too!
I dont really know what 2 say in my first blog so i guess less is more and ill try this whole shindig again 2mro!